I was dating this girl for about 8 months, she was real cool. We got along really well and, to be honest, I thought I loved this girl. Then one day, she decided to cheat on me. Twice.
I brushed it off like I do everything bad that happens to me and pretended I was okay, not knowing how this would make my upcoming relationships 10x harder due to actually having no trust at all left in my body.
About 2 years later, I met my current girlfriend. This women was, and still is, nothing but faithful to me. However, this meant nothing to me when we first started dating.
Thoughts of her cheating on me happened multiple times a day and it was terrible. “She did this with this dude” or “She did that with that guy.” It was all bullcrap.
The more and more love I started to feel for her, the more frequent these thoughts would occur. And the stronger they felt.
It came to the point where I found myself stuck in The Bad Thought Tornado.
The Bad Thought Tornado is a long-lasting cycle of cynical thoughts that slowly deteriorates one’s self-esteem, posing as a legitimate problem making it increasingly difficult to leave its bottomless pit of negativity. Damn.
I have found that some people are more prone than others to get stuck in The Bad Thought Tornado; deep-thinkers, problem-solvers, dwellers, self-doubters or self-haters.
Personally, I see my self as a deep problem-solver. I enjoy sitting and thinking of solutions to a problem no matter how long it will take. Plus, I don’t let things go easily.
Matter of fact, I have like the perfect combination to get stuck in The Bad Thought Tornado because there is no actual solution to it.
Like I said earlier, digging for a solution will only send you deeper into the cycle.
(In this case, x does not equal y. It’s more like x-(y+6/55%) / 3= solution)
There are only 2 things you can do to escape the Tornado.
Distraction- Clean your house or mow your lawn. Focusing on something else will temporarily remove you from the Tornado while you practice number 2.
Time- Things like trust and faith take time an insane amount of time to build. There is no quick fix for trust issues and you can’t buy faith.
The Bad Thought Tornado doesn’t want to see you succeed. It will keep you in the past and prevent you from progressing in your future relationships and your life.
If it wasn’t for my decision to leave my problem-solving ways (for this matter) and “just let go,” I would still be trapped in a viscous cycle of thoughts that my girlfriend just cheated on me.